


Freed

by that_damn_girl



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Winter Soldier (Comics), Wolverine (Movies)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Badass, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Canonical Alternate Universe, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Happy Ending, Hurt, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mutant Reader, Not Romance, Not a Crossover, POV Second Person, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Plot, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Endgame, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Reader-Insert, Relationship(s), Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Teen Angst, Teenagers, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:34:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24551656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/that_damn_girl/pseuds/that_damn_girl
Summary: Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers are on a nice old missions taking out little old HYDRA bases when they come across you, who was captured by Hydra and possesses Wolverine's abilities. They decide to take you in as an asset to the team, but slowly and surely you become a part of their family.Ch 2- Ever since you were rescued by Bucky, you had never spent a moment apart. But soon Thanos happens and Bucky gets dusted, making it hard for you and Steve survive without the complete trio.[SteveBucky x platonic!teen!gender-neutral!reader]~~~Your eyes widened and the struggle in you began to subside. Bucky continued, “They captured me, tortured me, but there were these people who helped me break free. I am with them now, let us help you.”You looked at him, trying to decipher whether he was lying, and after a careful and slow moment you decided he wasn’t.Yet you couldn’t be too sure, “Why?” Your timid voice asked.He smiled, “Because I don’t want another soul to go through what I did.” You believed him this time too.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Reader, Steve Rogers & Reader, Steve Rogers/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	1. Freed

Those eyes, just like his own once.

Bucky looked down at you as you took up a defensive pose in front of him, trying to act menacing and the heartless soldier you were molded into. Act, because he looked at your eyes and immediately understood that unfortunately, you had a better understanding of what would happen to you if you so much as dared to show your target a negligible fraction of mercy or hesitated to attack and render yourself weak.

He knew because he saw himself in the pair of eyes he stared into. Once new to this ruthless predicament you were in, he understood that following commands and surviving yourself was a higher priority to you than caring about any other thing in the world at that moment. You had no other choice and were helpless. Just like HYDRA wanted it’s puppets to be.

He took in your stance; legs spread wide, both arms bent at the elbows, one at shoulder level and the other raised in front of yourself. Atop a body covered with black garments sat a head with such a sneer he would’ve thought you were an animal caged inside a human’s shape. Because that’s how HYDRA had treated him, just like an animal.

You looked young to him; really young. He couldn’t help but drown in pity for you. Oh, a child of only fifteen, maybe sixteen, too young for the horrors he supposed you would’ve witnessed and gone through while in their hold.

He kept up his gun poised steadily at you, though he hated himself for threatening a kid, and tried to think how low could HYDRA have gone to kidnap yet another innocent soul and turn it into a killing machine. He then realised that they didn’t really know any limits. It was a bottomless pit. They grabbed at anything and everything beneficial to them, not thinking even a bare minimum amount of others. They never even had a conscience to begin with.

He then noticed that one thing almost unique only to you. At first he thought it was some sort of new mobile weapon developed by those horrendous scientists, but then was horrified as he corrected himself that - no, no that couldn’t be a weapon, at least not a mobile one since it literally jutted out from between your knuckles. Three metallic blades on each hand with the lustre of his old metal arm, nearly six inches long.

What in the hell have they done?

On the way over to this HYDRA base, Bucky had sworn he’d burn this place to the ground and not let any of these beastly people live. But he couldn’t go through with that after watching you. He couldn’t do that to a victim just like him, a child nonetheless.

“Hey, kid,” He cautiously took a step forward, gun still raised, slow and calm enough to show you he didn’t mean any harm but alert and stiff enough to show you that he wouldn’t hesitate if you wouldn’t. “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“You never can.” You spat back and stood your ground.

Steve’s voices cackled through his earpiece, “What kid?”

Ignoring Steve for now, Bucky kept forwarding towards you slowly, “I know what they do to you, what they will keep doing to you.” Bucky didn’t exactly know that, but he could make nearly accurate guesses. He gauged your reaction. You tried to remain as stoic as possible, but the slight furrow of your eyebrows encouraged him to continue, “They had me once too, but I was broken free. I am not like them. I can help you, trust me.”

You charged forward and tried to strike at him with your dominant hand, but he ducked. You tried again but he dropped his gun and grabbed both your elbows to criss-cross them in front of your chest, your back pressed to the wall. Your looked at him for a hard moment before sneering, “That’s what they told me.”

Bucky saw in your eyes that you badly wanted to believe him, but he supposed a past incident had given you enough wisdom from outright trusting any stranger, “They made me think that they had helped me too.”

This time round you couldn’t help your eyes from narrowing. Confusion sat blankly at your face, though the fight to break free still persisted. He hated to admit that he had to work in order to restrain a teenager. No doubt that they had experimented on you too.

Bucky gestured to his arm. Only then did you realise that it wasn’t a part of his costume - one black left sleeve of the burgundy jacket, which you had thought to be in the dimly lit hallway. No, it was not an extremely fitted sleeve; it was his arm, black and gold and made of metal, you realised.

They replaced a whole arm with metal?

Your eyes widened and the struggle in you began to subside. Bucky continued, “They captured me, tortured me, but there were these people who helped me break free. I am with them now, let us help you.”

You looked at him, trying to decipher whether he was lying, and after a careful and slow moment you found out he wasn’t.

Bodies of HYDRA agents, either dead or unconscious, were scattered front and back. The stench of their blood filled the air. You had seen him destroy those bodies when conscious with an unparalleled vengeance you didn’t understand. You concluded it to be his fighting style, but then you understood the reason behind it. If he was saying the truth and your perception of body language hadn’t gone rusty, you believed he fought with rage and a want for revenge for all he was put through when in their control. You believed him.

Yet you couldn’t be too sure, “Why?” Your timid voice asked.

He smiled, “Because I don’t want another soul to go through what I did.” You believed him this time too.

~

Bucky led you to the quinjet, where everyone had already assembled. Everyone was sceptical of you, everyone but a brown haired girl who seemed only a few years older to you. She reminded everyone of something along the lines of her being in your shoes a few years past.

By the talking you heard, you found out that the brown haired girl could read minds. So they had experimented on her too, you thought. They wanted Wanda to take a peek in your head to be assured that you wouldn’t try to be clever with them. You grew uncomfortable with the idea, but the metal armed savior said that they could only help you if they trusted you, and the girl assured you that she would only look into the parts necessary and wouldn’t pry for more. You agreed, because you were desperate for their help, desparate to be free of the horrid people who had tormented you to no end. She looked and you were approved.

Everyone was curious to know more about you, a potential addition to the team in near future, but kept their inquisitions to themselves. Before reaching the jet, you had retracted your blades into your plam, and Bucky had watched flabbergasted as the skin between your knuckles healed immediately, leaving no trace of the deadly weapon now inside your body, but decided not to comment on it.

You had naturally chosen to sit beside Bucky on the way back. He gave you a vibe, one which you hadn’t felt in a long, long time; of safety and security. For so long you had spent in that dirty den of monsters, without once being taken care of, doing whatever immoral things they commanded you to, or recieving punishment for not doing it. You’d recieve punishments even when you did complete the task, because they somehow always seemed to point out a flaw in your execution which didn’t exist.

You saw a man sit on the other side of the metal armed man, blond with blue eyes and a similar built to Bucky, you learnt. A weird name, you thought, but cute as well. You told him his name shyly when he asked.

You wanted to know more about the Bucky and Wanda, who seemed to have been under HYDRA’s clutches previously, but felt too nervous to initiate a conversation with strangers. The fact that almost every team member of the Avengers, they seemed to call themselves, was present on the quinjet and crammed the space didn’t make it any easier on you. Neither did the fact that you had no idea about what your future would hold.

Bucky noticed your anxiety and wasn’t sure if you’d be okay with it, but he took a chance and patted your shoulder reassuring you, “Everything will be fine.” You believed him yet again.

Throughout the journey, a few words were exchanged, complimentary with a few smiles. You felt even more safe and at ease with Bucky than before. Perhaps it was due to the fact that he was the first person in a long time to want to help you genuinely. Perhaps it was due to the fact that you knew you and him had somewhat same shared experiences of torture by nearly the same people, so your mind assumed he would know and understand what and how you felt. Whatever it may be, you were glad to have someone generous enough to offer to help you out when every nerve and muscle of your body had intended to harm them.

When the jet landed, others went for debriefing while you were sent to the med bay. You didn’t want to go alone into the unknown space, so you set your pleading anxious eyes on Bucky, who without another word accompanied you after sharing a look with the blond, Steve. Dr. Banner and his team took various scans and tests, all with Bucky by your side because you refused to let him be out of your sight.

Meanwhile the team discussed on how to handle the situation. Afterall, you were still a child to them. They knew it would be how it was with recruiting Wanda all over again, a scared teenager ripped apart from normalcy trying to find a place and meaning with all these people who were anything but normal. She had Vision by her side, and now you have Bucky.

Everyone saw your immediate closeness with Bucky, and the slight protectiveness Bucky had taken over you. Since you felt more at ease with Bucky than anyone else, it was a unanimous decision to let him handle the progress you made with the team,

And, of course, Steve too. It was an unspoken rule. How could he not not be involved anywhere where Bucky was?

After all the tests and scans, you were given a clean set of clothes and were guided to a washroom where you could freshen up. When you went inside the shower, you expected the shower of water to be cool as you turned the knob. Surprise was the understatement of the century when you felt soothing warm droplet fall over you.

You checked out the various items placed by a small counter in the shower with labels which you could read but didn’t know what they meant. You looked across at the large mirror. For the first time in a very long time again, you could really take yourself in. The dips and curves of your body, or the lack thereof; the proportions of yourself. It felt weird not exactly knowing what your own self looked like. Despite the presence of mirrors, you never had a chance to ponder over your looks, even while bathing. Your body and skills and the blades were what was the most important to them; never your looks.

All of this newfound freedom felt so overwhelming, you broke down and allowed yourself to pour your eyes out and sob the pain of all those dreadful memories out of your mind, something which you were never allowed to do before.

As the water ran cold, you stepped out of the shower and into the clean clothes provided. When you met Bucky outside,he noticed your red and puffy eyes, but didn’t say anything.

You later met everyone in a large sitting area. Dr. Banner and his team were extremely efficient. They had informed everyone of the special abilities you had as a result of the experiment. You had a very high metabolism and extraordinarily fast self-healing abilities, much higher than that of the super soldiers present.

Moreover, your palm looked normal superficially only. In reality, the metacarpals and carpus of your palm were connected to the radius and ulna of your palm in such a fashion that they accomodated six inches long and one-fourth of an inch wide plates, three in each arm, made up of an alloy yet to be named (adamantium, you learned very later on), but they found it to be similar to titanium. Their purpose was a mystery to them.

When confronted about it post your shower, you didn’t know how to explain, so you opted to simply show them instead. You jut them out, piercing the skin between your knuckles. Everyone looked at you stunned. They realised that they weren’t metal plates which Bruce talked about; no, they were blades. Feeling overly self conscious, you retreated the blades and pulled your arms by your side, palms on your kness, sitting uncomfortably stiff and straight like the perfect soldier you were trained to be. As soon as the blades were back inside your flesh, the pierced wounds amongst your knuckles weaved back into your skin faster than one could blink, showing no evidence of even a slight scratch.

Some sat open mouthed and some couldn’t form sentences or words other than, “Wow” , “Woah”, and “Holy cow”. You blushed hardly. No one had ever looked at your way and given you such amazed reactions.

Sensing your discomfort once again, Bucky wrapped an arm around your shoulder and asked everyone to move onto other important things. Seeing a little super soldiers with great powers, they wanted to recruit you to the team, but only if you wanted and when you were mentally healthy.

Of course you wanted to join them after learning of their purpose. You had done many bad things and wanted to do something good with the weapon you were cursed with. Bucky and Steve loved and appreciated the fact that though you weren’t sure of who you were exactly yet, you were sure of all the good deeds you wanted to do despite experiencing only the worse.

Later that night you were given your own quarters, right next to Bucky’s. You were utterly thankful for it. When you proceeded to sleep on the bed, you found it too soft to relax enough to sleep. Having only known mattresses as hard as the ground it was kept upon, you hadn’t known that a mattress could be as soft as your were given. You were conflicted between being grateful and vexed.

Regardless, you didn’t sleep that night. You decided to step out of your room and into the common balcony of your floor to get some fresh air. You stayed there for a few minutes and realised bringing a jacket would have been a better idea if you wanted to spend your night away staring at the shiny and sprinkly stars above.

As you walked back the length of the hallway, Bucky suddenly appeared in front of you. Filled with shock, you instinctively drew your blades and toop up a defensive position, blades placed in front of his neck.

“Hey kid, calm down. I’m not trying to heart ya.” Bucky put his hands up to show he was harmless.

Ashamed and guilty, you drew your blades in and looked down at the floor and shook your head, “Sorry…I was just surprised, I guess.”

“It’s alright, kid. Sorry, I shouldn’t have been that quiet.” You didn’t understand why he apologized for what was his nature, but you gave him a little nod nonetheless.

“What are you here, by the way?” He looked inquisitively at you.

“Couldn’t sleep. I wanted to get a jacket to sit down in the balcony.” You still didn’t meet his eyes. He understood the unspoken words; that you couldn’t adjust to all this with just a clip of your fingers.

You felt awfully bad for how you reacted to someone who had thought more good of you in a few hours than the beasts you escaped from had in all your lifetime. Still overwhelmed from all the new and good possibilities your future could hold, tears sprang to your eyes.

Bucky wanted to comfort you, to assure you that you were safe here, that him and the others would look our for you. He tried to make himself as small as possible and gently asked in a soft voice, “Is it okay if I hug you?”

You looked up at him with wide eyes. Bringing your here and freeing you from those varlets; he had already done so much. Why did he want to go out of his way for your comfort? Whatever the reason may be, being gentle touch deprived all your life, you didn’t want to turn him down. You nodded.

He smiled and slowly took a step forward. He encircled you in his arms. You broke down again at his soft touch and laid your head in his chest, not quite as tall as him. He used one palm to pet your head, whispering sweet words to assure you that you are well and everything would be fine.

When you calmed down enough, he asked, “Would you mind if I accompany you?” You nodded again.

After getting your respective jackets, you sat down in the small couch placed in the balcony. You leaned into him. He put an arm around you and you both looked at the stars above wordlessly.

This continued for a few nights. You’d come to the balcony and he’d already be there. You’d keep your head on his shoulders and stare into the night sky. You’d dose off and Bucky would remain in the same posture, afraid to wake you. Sometimes he would be lulled into sleep too by the beautiful atmosphere. You both didn’t need much sleep, thanks to the serums in your bloods. You’d wake up in a couple of hours, refreshed and back into your rooms.

In the daytime, you were assigned to therapy and sharpening you skills in the gym. Steve would take care of that. He’d help you correct your techniques and style with pushing you much, in a soft and gentle way. You were grateful to him too.

On your fifth night on the balcony, Steve had joined you guys too. You didn’t know the reason why, he just came and sat on your other side and slumped down enough to rest his head on the back rest and eyes on the twinkling night sky.

After a few moments he spoke, “Beautiful, isn’t it?” Words of confirmation were exchanged, and so you three began talking.

Steve and Bucky first shared their stories of the previous century, after hearing which you were surprised to know Steve had survived through all the ‘idiocy’ stuff he did. Bucky’s words, not yours. Feeling comfortable enough, you told them the things you hadn’t even shared with your therapist. Bucky held your hand and Steve stroked your back as you went through a roller coaster of emotions. Bucky told you about his own time under HYDRA’s control, sparing the gruesome details, to give you a hint that in a way he understood all you had gone through.

You felt really good, as if a weight had been lifted off of your chest. As the conversation died down, so did your conscious pulling you into a deep peaceful sleep.

Being with you, taking care of you, Bucky and Steve were reminded of a sibling they had too little time with. They liked this unofficial care-taking role.

After the talk that night, or rather early morning, you seemed very cheerful and elevated for that day and the days to come. You started to initiate small conversation with everyone, smiling gleefully at everyone you passed in the hallways, opened up more to your therapist, and gave Steeve your best while training.

Soon you were cleared for missions, accompanied with Bucky, Steve and Sam. You were exceedingly excited for your first mission; to start doing things right with the advancements you were given to do only the wrongs. Bucky and Steve had given you a lengthy talk about keeping your safety in mind, to not overexert yourself and not be too rash in your decisions. You calmed them down with a long hug to each, assuring them you would take care of yourself.

Almost every mission from there onwards, you were paired with at least either one of them or both. In the compound too, you had become inseparable from them, or maybe they from you. Movie nights had been introduced, where they would show you all the hits from your own generation which you had missed or from their own, along with those which the others had shown to them.

They soon took over a pair of protective older brothers’ role. They wouldn’t let Sam or anyone else mess with you, except for themselves. They started calling you all these crazy and funny nicknames to tick you off. In retaliation, you started calling them Steeb and Bonky. They hadn’t looked happy.

When you started dating, they would give murderous glares to anyone you were with, which would give them a clear enough idea not to be in your bad books. Steeb would keep his hand on his hips, broadening his shoulders and flexing his biceps. Bonky would make the presence of his metal arm even more obvious by doing everything with it and whirring the plates constantly to make enough noise to give your date a hint.

Then came the ever dreaded 'talk’. They felt that since you had started dating, things between you and your significant other would escalate quickly either now or in the near future. They felt it was their responsibility to give you 'the talk’. You had been ever grateful for their presence in your life up until then. All three of you ended that conversation with faces red enough to rival Bonky’s burgundy leather jacket.

Once Sam had approached you to prank them. You were eager to do whatever Sam had planned. The end result had been Bonky’s arm and Steeb’s shield adorned with stickers of various mindless things stuck with a strong adhesive. They had had a field day in scrapping and removing the glue with a shitload of acetone.

Your birthday was coming in a few days. Steeb and Bonky wanted it to be special; your first birthday outside of HYDRA. You didn’t remember celebrating your birthday ever, so when the day rolled around you didn’t suspect a thing when Steeb and Bonky offered to take you to Coney Island. You hadn’t even remembered it was your birthday.

You spent the day in disguise so as to not be recognised, hopping from one ride to another and stuffing your face with anything you found appealing. Though you had a higher metabolism than the other two super soldiers, they didn’t think eating the way you were was a good idea, but they couldn’t say no to your puppy dog eyes and the cheeky grin you put on in victory afterwards.

You had stopped on a shooting stall to play, but Bonky cast you aside before you could even fully reach there, paid the amount and started shooting. Shoulders slumping, Steeb sighed loudly.

He was an excellent shooter - hell, he was a sniper in the WW2 and is currently one for the Avengers. Everyone knew that, but to not make anyone suspicious of his true identity he purposefully hit the first few shots wider. The stallkeeper watched with a smug smile, convinced the last shot wouldn’t be any different cause it hardly ever was. Steeb hid his smirk with the pretence of clearing his throat as Bonky hit bullseye, earning a giant [whatever you want] for you. You squealed as you accepted it, hugging and squeezing it to your chest after hugging Bonky.

By the time you had reached the compound, your faces were lit up with a hundred watt smiles. You had throughly enjoyed the day to its best and didn’t think it could have gotten any better. Laughing your asses off, your heart came to your throat as you stepped out of the elevator and everyone yelled, “Surprise!”

A banner hung from the ceiling written, 'Happy Birthday Y/N’. You were momentarily surprised as you gaped at it open mouthed. Balloons and string lights were scattered beautifully acros the living room. You didn’t register who took Bonky’s win from your arms and who hugged your limo form, wishing you. When it finally registered, you were teary eyed as you looked at everyone’s genuinely happy expression.

You were determined not to cry but all hell broke loose when Wanda brought in a small and cute cake with icing piped in her trademark way, candles lit. You broke down then and there, crying into your elbow. Bonky and Steeb instantly hugged you from both sides. Petting your head, Steeb said, “Aw kid, don’t cry.”

You felt elated. No one had ever thought of or cared for you enough to organise a little something behind your back for your birthday, so that you were happy. You had hugged everyone as you thanked them, still overwhelmed. Candles were blown and the cake was cut. A big portion of the icing was in your face. You didn’t complain though; you felt appreciated and loved.

A few weeks later you were graced with a mission where your right lung got punctured and a few ribs got broken. Even with your abilities, it took you a day to gain consciousness and another three for all your injuries to heal completely.

Steeb and Bonky had lost it when you fell into their arms when you got attacked and wouldn’t wake up in the quinjet. The next day until you were conscious, they hadn’t slept or left your side after the required surgery. They had been soft with you until you were discharged, but as soon as you got okay, they blew up your head with unending scoldings and lectures for you to be safe. They crushed you to their chests later, telling you how scared you had made them.

Though you felt bad for worrying them, you couldn’t help the happy beats in your heart to know people actually did care about your well being because they care about you and not your utility.

Many instances happened in your life, some happy, some sad. You had had Bonky and Steeb by you side, and knew you would later too. Ever grateful for their presence in your life, you looked forward to life with renewed vim and zest.


	2. Missing Bucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever since you were rescued by Bucky, you had never spent a moment apart. But soon Thanos happens and Bucky gets dusted, making it hard for you and Steve survive without the complete trio.

Dusted. Right in front of your eyes. Just like that.

You’d heard Bucky call out to Steve, voice heavily laced with confusion. You turned at his call, only to watch his hand distort into minute black particles and being carried away by the wind. First his hand, then his legs. Gun in one hand, his body fell forward like a sack of potatoes, but before he could even touch the ground, the fate caught up. Soon, all his body.

Disappeared. Just like that.

“Bucky!” You cried, running to where his ashes lay on the Wakandan soil. Fisting some in your hand, you tried to make sense of it. But the ashes only slipped through your fingers like he had slipped from your sight.

“Thanos snapped.” Steve breathed, yet was not able to believe he heard himself correct, though it happened right in front of your eyes.

You sat there motionless, eyes not straying from Bucky, or what was left of him. Your breath hitched, not being able to understand any thoughts which ran through your brain. Your eyes couldn’t even form tears, your body in a state of complete and utter shock.

Your Bucky. Who had saved you. Who had treated you like his own sister. Who was the reason for you standing where you were.

Gone. Just like that.

~~~

True to his word, Thanos did dust away half of the population into nothing. You and the living avengers searched for the other living avengers, but hardly found any.

Everyone searched for anyway to get to Thanos and reverse the snap. It seemed like he too had disappeared in the vast universe, without giving you any clue.

Somehow the team had gotten Fury’s pager like messenger. It was toyed with, resending the signal you all thought Fury had sent in a desparate cry for help. Seconds later Carol arrived, but your Bucky didn’t.

Through Carol’s help, Tony and Nebula were saved. Your Bucky wasn’t.

Thanos was found by Nebula’s intel. Your Bucky wasn’t.

When Thanos said he’d used the infinity stones to destroy them by themselves, everyone’s hope dissolved. The snap couldn’t be reversed; your Bucky wouldn’t be back.

Day in and day out as you turned every corner, lighted any darkened room, saw anyone’s silhouette, a little part of you always hoped you’d see Bucky emerging out, hugging you close and telling you he was just playing with you; that he was well and fine and alive.

You had stopped taking care of yourself. Everyone had. But after Thanos was killed, Steve, Nat, Bruce and Rhodey were adamant about taking care of what was left rather than mourning over what wasn’t. They set about helping the governments of the world bring the order back, calming the chaos which had stirred and helping the ones who needed help.

Tony refused to be a part it anymore with Pepper pregnant, though his pockets were open to aid. Thor busied himself with setting up New Asgard. Clint went on his own path. Carol had other planets to take care of. Steve had to take care of you.

You couldn’t sleep until extremely exhausted anymore. You went to the balcony one night to gaze at the stars, but sitting at the couch and not having Bucky by your side brought too many memories back, which once brought you immense joy to recal but now only deepened the sense of longing in you. You immediately returned to your room, choosing to sit on the couch and just stare at the ceiling.

Unable to sleep as well, Steve caught you wandering down the hall. When he reached your room, he wordlessly sat beside you on the couch. Time passed and nobody talked. It was so silent and uneventful, you’d think you were alone in your room if it were not for the warmth radiating from him.

Slowly, you’d started putting your head on his shoulder, just like you’d on Bucky’s. It wasn’t the same.

You didn’t talk about him, you couldn’t. Neither did Steve. You still couldn’t believe Bucky wasn’t at your side when he had been since the time you had seen the world outside HYDRA. Then one day, you cried. You cried your heart out.

“Steve,” You said as tears ran down your face, “I miss him! So much, Steve, it hurts.” You lamented. Stroking your head, Steve cried with you too, lost in his own sorrows of losing Bucky everytime he got him back.

You couldn’t stay at the compound anymore with Bucky’s memories plaguing every corner you turned. It hurt that you could feel him from your memory, remember him, but not see him or be able to talk to him. It was too much for you.

The next night when Steve came to your room, he only saw a post it on your side table reading: ‘Some people move on, but not me.’

Steve could only stare at it. You were gone from his life too. Just like Bucky.

~~~

It wasn’t really hard for you to look for shelter. With so many gone, a number of households were empty. Setting your sight on one of them, you made yourself comfortable. You didn’t know whether not having Bucky’s recurring memories in a new place was a good thing or not.

You often wondered why it happened how it happened. Why you were left behind and not Bucky. Thanos claimed he had to do what he did for the betterment of mankind. If so, then all those who made other’s lives hell, like the terrorists, corrupted powerful officials, rapists, murderers and many should’ve been dusted. They weren’t. You wondered if the universe had chosen Bucky, then why not you too? His had killed numerous, you had too. But he was brainwashed, and in a way you were too. There were just so many fucking similarities between you two if the past was to be accounted. Then why the hell were you alive when he wasn’t?

In your head, the universe had intended for the bad half of the population to be gone. If Bucky was gone because of the bad deeds he had done in the past, then you weren’t any good either. If he was bad, then by that definition you were too. The universe had selected wrong. If it wanted bad, you were gonna give them worse.

It wasn’t hard to get a hold of food either. You all but raided the empty houses nearby for anything edible. Once those resources were over, you sought to stealing from the big ass established stores like Walmart. You were a trained spy. Of course you could do it.

It wasn’t like they’d undergo much losses by getting rations for one single person stolen.

Once you got the hang of it, you started stealing whatever you needed from those who left behind their belongings. You walked back on all the good you had promised to do in the world. In your words, it wasn’t as much stealing as borrowing from the dead. You didn’t borrow anything unless you needed it though. A car to move around in, necessary items like tampons and stuff.

You couldn’t bring yourself to move on and work hard and be fair. You were past that. Tired of making sense of the workings of the world, you couldn’t help others when you were yourself deep in despair. Not like you had wanted to anyway.

~~~

Years passed, yet you stayed the same.

By hacking into FRIDAY, you kept tabs on the team. You thought the others didn’t know, but of course FRIDAY had informed Tony, Steve and Nat of your shenanigans. They didn’t consider you a threat, so they let it be. They knew you were hurting just like Thor, refusing to take any help and drowning in your sorrows.

It wasn’t until you got word of the team trying of time travelling to bring the stones to the future and reversing the snap that a sliver of hope simmered in you. If their plan worked, you could have your Bucky back. But you immediately shut down any hope coursing through your veins. If their plan didn’t work out, you would not be able to live with your hopes to see Bucky again crushed.

So you waited. You waited until there was any confirmation. Once you did know that the stones were brought from the past, you bolted out the door that damn second and hopped in your borrowed car to speed to the compound.

You couldn’t stop the hope surging through you. You dreamed about meeting Bucky once again for 5 long years. It had been so long since he had talked to you, comforted you, scolded you, fretted over you. You couldn’t wait to have all that back again.

However, as you reached the compound, you only found it destroyed. It was brought down to only slabs of concrete splayed out. Stepping out of the car, you didn’t believe your eyes as you saw Thanos with his army.

Your mind overworked trying to find any reason to what you saw. When your mind failed, your feelings took over. You didn’t know how or why Thanos was here, but you were not going to leave him alive for taking away Bucky from you.

Drawing out your blades, you took off in Thanos’ direction. However, before you could reach him, aliens which you had fought in Wakanda years ago appeared in front of you. Well, you could always start with his minions.

Not giving them a chance to think, you immediately dug your blades in thighs of the one who stood nearest to you. Another came to attack you from the back. You were faster though. Turning around, you pierced its thighs with your blades too before swinging at its neck.

You dashed through a small distance, prompting the remaining aliens to follow your suit. In two long strides you climbed a slanting concrete slab before bending your body to turn around. Having reached a height higher than the aliens and the required momentum, you aimed directly for their necks as you fell down at them.

Landing on your knees, you pushed forward to stab another in front of you. You jumped from it to another with agility before stabbing it too. As it fell limp, you fell with it too. Raising to you knees, you wound the one right at your face.

You shot towards Thanos again, but the aliens kept on coming in your way. One came in front of you again. Sliding though the gap between it’s legs, you pierced its lower limbs before kicking its back and continued on.

Another appeared as you ran, but quickly chocked you down before you could do anything. You tried moving your arm but it pinned them down. You kicked it over with your legs. You climbed on it and crushed its neck like Natasha had taught you.

As you made to stand up, something shot through your abdomen. Looking down at it and found out that it was the front half of an arrow sticking out of you. You looked around to see who did that and found a higher class of aliens with something like a bow in its hand.

Apparently the arrow through you had a string attached to it, which as soon as the alien tugged, you were on your back. Aliens crowded your vision. You were thinking of your next move when suddenly a knife pierced through an alien in front of you and then was tossed aside. You looked up to see who that knife belonged to and saw him.

Bucky. Alive and in front of you.

You didn’t have much time to rejoice though, as Bucky set about thrusting his knife in the aliens still surrounding you. You took that time to sit up and rip the arrow out of you, pain clogging your brain for a moment.

As you made to stand up, one alien from each side gripped your arms and tried to drag your struggling form. Bucky, who had been fighting off the aliens too started to make his way towards you but stopped, feeling proud when he saw you twisting your body so that one of your arms were free. You quickly ended the two beasts holding you.

Once you were sure there wore no more aliens coming at you, you rushed towards Bucky. You fell in his arms as they folded around you. Finally, you had your Bucky back, alive and tangible; not just a figment of your memory. You couldn’t have had explained the joy coursing through you even if you had wanted to.

It was a bit weird for Bucky to be holding you in his arms as a grown adult. The last he had seen you, only minutes ago for him, you were a growing little thing. Now he had you in his arms, sniffing and telling him how much he was missed. His little sister, all grown up.

Though much time had passed, he was still the overprotective goof and marshmallow for you which he had always been. Petting your head, he whispered sweet assurances in your ear. He made to pull back to look at you, but you just clung to him, refusing to let him go right after you had gotten him back after years.

Pausing mid-fight, Steve saw Bucky and you in each other’s arms. Having seen you after years too, Steve was overwhelmed as he caught up to you two. He embraced the both of you in his arms, tears of joy welling up in his eyes.

Oh, how he had missed being a part of this trio!

You knew you had to get back to fighting all the aliens, but you guessed you could stay in their arms a few minutes longer. It had been so long, you deserved that at least. Encompassed in the arms of both your brothers, you felt truly happy for the first time in years.


End file.
